Spewing toxic emissions into the atmosphere is one thing. But death or injury in my vehicles wake is quite another.
Sadly, with my “driving the world” lifestyle, such is inevitable.
Buck Moon / Deer Lunacy
On this weird, cloudless yet starless night, the full buck moon was bright red. Drawing wild eyed deer to the roadways edge.
Like packs of starving zombies seeking to sate their ravaging hunger. Suicidal Whitetail await in the shadows for just the right vehicle to drive by.
In my mind I could see them. Pawing at the periphery. Waiting in the twiggy wedge of where the forest meets the road.
Moon crazed deer are the bane of rural Texas roadways in Summer and Fall. But not only deer succumb to the full moons lunacy. On Summer nights like these, a deranged contagion maddens more than the jittery, spindly legged, frantics.
Although unseen, denizens of the Texas wilderness hide in the shadows. Lurking at the brink of the unlit road. Waiting for me to drive by.
I scanned the verge with sharp intent. Hands gripping the wheel in anticipation. Ready to respond.
As Austin neared, the forest thinned and turned to sprawling ranchland. Not out of the literal woods yet, I loosened my grip but maintained a keen eye.
Hello Austin Texas
About about 100 miles north of my South Austin, Texas destination, traffic thickened as it now always does when nearing Austin. I began to relax.
Less than 100 miles from my destination and no casualties. Then something flew in front of the car and vanished. I knew it was a goner.
It was nearly dark, so it could have been a bat. Texas is home to millions of little bats. But I knew that whatever it was, was likely stuck in the massive grill of the Lincoln.
I’d not seen it do the customary ‘swoop of the dead’ over my hood. So I imagined it wedged between the evil teeth if the Aviators shameless grin.
I drove on.
The sprawling Texas ranchland faded to subdivisions. I drove across Austin through the late evening traffic, so common to this place. Venturing on to my mother’s house in South Austin.
Arriving exhausted, I merely glanced at the menacing grill of the Lincoln upon unloading and saw nothing.
I awoke to take Mom to do errands. It was hot. Three digit hot.
The bug laden grill showed no sign of a body, so I offered the little creature a moment of silence in recompense and went on with life.
The Heat (Heart) of Texas!
The next day was hot. Like the rest of the US, Texas was searing. Daily aspiring to triple digits or close, with just enough humidity to make it soul breakingly bleak.
As I traversed South Austin to help my Mom with chores. Instead of dodging moon crazed deer, I now evaded the blank eyed, soccer Moms, that dot Austins cityscape.
These dough eyed creatures, drive and roam about as if they have no real destination in mind. Such Austin transplants wander the parking lots and shops in a daze similar to the deer.
Swaddled in organic yoga pants and t shirts with ironic sayings, they prance about believing they too are “weird”. Their freshly dyed purple hair, a beacon of their unacknowledged privilege.
I prefer the crazy deer.
The deer are much more competent at blending into the landscape than are this new breed of Austin Moms. Fueled by their vapid superiority, they don’t even notice themselves blocking the way, driving to slowly or cutting you off.
And Ye Shall Arise!
We stopped at Michaels craft supply and walked the length of the strip mall to TJ Maxx.
The heat was better this day, yet too oppressive for my Mom. So I slogged off through the Texas heat, to get the car and come pick her up.
How could that be?
There’s no way it could be a second bird right?
Yet there she was, screaming her wee head off and waving her wings about. She looked a right mess too.
I opened the trunk and the dove flew out. She stumbled around the parking lot, mimicking the soccer moms and flew off into the expansive Texas sky.
How could that poor little sucker have survived? Eighty miles an hour in front of a searing hot radiator? Three whole days driving around town in 3 digit heat?
There is no way to know how that little bird survived her predicament. Yet, she now too was a transplant to Austin, Texas.
Maybe she’ll dye her hair purple, buy a Subaru Outback and start prancing around parking lots in ironic t-shirts.